DO-IT-YOURSELF CIRCUMCISION
( An action poem for men with foreskin only )
( performed standing up facing the audience)
This do-it-yourself circumcision ( indicates with a raised forefinger )
does not require a surgeon's incision. ( shakes forefinger indicating no )
For anaesthesia drink lots of beer ( thumb to mouth indicating drinking )
until at the old barmaid you start to leer. (leering ,lusty look at audience )
Up on your feet ( simulates a jump from a sitting position )
go take a leak ( ad-lib )
while on your hand phone you continue
to speak. ( holding "hand phone" to one ear )
One hand to zip up ( zip with the other hand)
Damn ! It's stuck. ( ad-lib )
Never mind
just....give..it....a.....G O O D.... ( tugging with increasing force )
H A R D.........TUG ! ( sudden violent tug , and contemplate
the detached dangling foreskin .
Facial expression- ad-lib )
Circumcision easily done . ( holds up foreskin like a trophy )
Wait , the instruction's not yet done. ( puts up arm to show wait )
This feat you must not repeat ( ad-lib )
an unexpected sex change is not a treat ! ( ad-lib )
(exits as one would do after circumcision without anaesthesia)
Yahya Sofi Hussain.
Ampang Ulu Klang.
31st October 2007
Published in Berita MMA 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
Fifty-five
Who is this I see ?
Staring back at me .
Is this me ?
How can this be ?
Only yesterday I was thirty - three,
today I am fifty - five
to my youth must I say goodbye ?
posted by yahya sofi on 05/05/2005 05:41:00 PM
sungaibesiblue.blogspot.com
Staring back at me .
Is this me ?
How can this be ?
Only yesterday I was thirty - three,
today I am fifty - five
to my youth must I say goodbye ?
posted by yahya sofi on 05/05/2005 05:41:00 PM
sungaibesiblue.blogspot.com
Ridzwan bin Md. Piah
Ridzwan Md. Piah , the lovable cuddly Koala Bear,
sienna brown skin and wind tousled hair
always ready with a humourous tale to share
to make us laugh and forget our despair.
Early this morning , the Bear is gone
in our memories he lives on and on.
There was cooling rain this morning
was it the wind or was it the Angels I hear laughing.
Bear's in Heaven , and as he did for us on Earth
he now keeps the Angels merry and laughing with mirth.
As we express our grief to Bear's family and wife
let's be grateful that he was truly loved in his short life.
Al-fatihah for Ridzwan bin Md. Piah, C Company 1959-1964 who left us on May 06 2005.
posted by yahya sofi at 05/06/2005 10:46:00 AM
sungaibesiblues.blogspot.com
sienna brown skin and wind tousled hair
always ready with a humourous tale to share
to make us laugh and forget our despair.
Early this morning , the Bear is gone
in our memories he lives on and on.
There was cooling rain this morning
was it the wind or was it the Angels I hear laughing.
Bear's in Heaven , and as he did for us on Earth
he now keeps the Angels merry and laughing with mirth.
As we express our grief to Bear's family and wife
let's be grateful that he was truly loved in his short life.
Al-fatihah for Ridzwan bin Md. Piah, C Company 1959-1964 who left us on May 06 2005.
posted by yahya sofi at 05/06/2005 10:46:00 AM
sungaibesiblues.blogspot.com
The Flying Tiger
Tiger , tiger flying high
like an eagle in the sky
above the haze in aerial grace
Boon Leong flies at a lazy pace
from up above he gaze
on cows that gaze and fields of maize
the GPS his trusty guide
his life's passion takes flight
the engine roars
his spirit soars
you should see the smile on grandpa Lee
as he comes in to land ever so gently
posted by yahya sofi at 5/15/2005 01:20:00 PM
sungaibesiblues.blogspot.com
like an eagle in the sky
above the haze in aerial grace
Boon Leong flies at a lazy pace
from up above he gaze
on cows that gaze and fields of maize
the GPS his trusty guide
his life's passion takes flight
the engine roars
his spirit soars
you should see the smile on grandpa Lee
as he comes in to land ever so gently
posted by yahya sofi at 5/15/2005 01:20:00 PM
sungaibesiblues.blogspot.com
Journey's End
JOURNEY'S END.
In Your hand You hold our fate,
his date with You cannot be delayed.
i do not question why, i do not wonder why.
he was sixty-five, too early to say goodbye.
As i dry my tears,
i celebrate his sixty-five good years.
To his patients, he paid an attentive ear
and comforting words to ease away their fears.
This illustrious son of Kelantan
was a perfect gentleman.
To his colleagues he was mentor and faithful friend
living his life as You command of Man.
To You he prayed in daily homage
seeking Your forgiveness and patronage.
At journey's end, with You we all must meet.
Nik Zainal Abidin bin Nik Abdul Rahman's soul in all Your mercy gently keep.
yahya sofi hussain
Friday 02nd November 2007
Ampang Ulu Klang.
In Your hand You hold our fate,
his date with You cannot be delayed.
i do not question why, i do not wonder why.
he was sixty-five, too early to say goodbye.
As i dry my tears,
i celebrate his sixty-five good years.
To his patients, he paid an attentive ear
and comforting words to ease away their fears.
This illustrious son of Kelantan
was a perfect gentleman.
To his colleagues he was mentor and faithful friend
living his life as You command of Man.
To You he prayed in daily homage
seeking Your forgiveness and patronage.
At journey's end, with You we all must meet.
Nik Zainal Abidin bin Nik Abdul Rahman's soul in all Your mercy gently keep.
yahya sofi hussain
Friday 02nd November 2007
Ampang Ulu Klang.
Monday, February 21, 2011
A PREMIER’S HOMECOMING
A PREMIER’S HOMECOMING
Nineteen seventy-six was the year
when we turned on the TV to hear
Hussein Onn in Parliament as he wiped away a tear
announcing the premature demise of Abdul Razak our second premier
in London , succumbing to leukaemia.
Stunned disbelieve
giving away to grief.
Abdul Razak's homecoming from Heathrow to Subang was delayed
there was nothing we could do but wait.
It gave us time to contemplate.
In God's hands lies Man's fate.
Abdul Razak became premier for less than a decade.
He started as number two in Tunku's government.
His heart's work in rural development.
Rural modernization with urgent dynamism
utilizing government linked mechanism,
to reduce poverty by narrowing the rural-urban chasm.
In the aftermath of the nineteen sixty-nine post election lunacy
he became the director of the NOC
with Abdullah Badawi as its' secretary.
The NOC ruled by decree
to restore this nation's sanity by degree.
With a few selected men
who had the police and the army in hand
(and the opposition in a defensive corner )
Abdul Razak could have ruled with absolute power.
By invitation, there was multi-ethnic representation
in a Council of National Consultation.
In the immediate Chinese backlash
from Malay commerce the Chinese withheld their cash
boycotting Malay driven cabs
for the satay and durian sellers, business was bad.
In Muhibbah parties, durians were the main feature
to smoothen thorny relations and heal the racial fracture.
A state of Emergency had been declared
freedom of movement became bad.
We were kept indoors by a night time curfew
arrested for being outdoors at night were more than a few
including those caught sleeping in stationary cars.
With slow cars and narrow roads, we could not travel very far.
And when the time was right
to end our darkest night
he restored our parliamentary rights.
To make us think and talk with tact
he enforced the Sedition Act.
The Universities and University Colleges Act of emasculation
cutting off student demonstration in higher education.
The New Economic Policy to bring about market parity
(there is great sensitivity over the NEP longevity).
The NEP aims to correct economic imbalance associated with race
so that future racial disturbances we do not have to face.
The Rukun Negara to mould good citizenship
to steer us through troubled waters he needed a very tight ship.
He displayed foreign policy pragmatism
by shaking hands with Mao, the Chairman of Chinese Communism.
This is a little known fact
which he handled with good humour and tact.
He advised a group of privileged kaum ibu to take care of their own family
and not to interfere in royal matrimony.
Photocopies of Mahathir's private letter calling for the Tunku to step down
was widely circulated in town.
The Tunku was infuriated.
Mahathir's UMNO carrier Ayah terminated.
When Razak became premier, Mahathir’s political life Razak resuscitated.
When the time and date became known
of Abdul Razak’s last journey home
my wife to be and I made our way
to the EPF junction along the Federal Highway.
There were Chinese, Indians, Malays and others too.
Nobody told us to
we came of our own volition
to await the return of our fellow Malaysian.
We were strangers to one another
but as a nation we waited together.
A late afternoon sumatra had blew in the rain clouds.
Though the weather was in doubt
it did not deter us the waiting crowd.
We bowed our heads to Tun Rahah Noah as the motorcade came by.
Tun Abdul Razak bin Dato’ Hussein was eight weeks short of fifty-five
when we bade him our final goodbye.
Printed in Balai Ikhtisas Malaysia Professiona Bulletin July 2010
Nineteen seventy-six was the year
when we turned on the TV to hear
Hussein Onn in Parliament as he wiped away a tear
announcing the premature demise of Abdul Razak our second premier
in London , succumbing to leukaemia.
Stunned disbelieve
giving away to grief.
Abdul Razak's homecoming from Heathrow to Subang was delayed
there was nothing we could do but wait.
It gave us time to contemplate.
In God's hands lies Man's fate.
Abdul Razak became premier for less than a decade.
He started as number two in Tunku's government.
His heart's work in rural development.
Rural modernization with urgent dynamism
utilizing government linked mechanism,
to reduce poverty by narrowing the rural-urban chasm.
In the aftermath of the nineteen sixty-nine post election lunacy
he became the director of the NOC
with Abdullah Badawi as its' secretary.
The NOC ruled by decree
to restore this nation's sanity by degree.
With a few selected men
who had the police and the army in hand
(and the opposition in a defensive corner )
Abdul Razak could have ruled with absolute power.
By invitation, there was multi-ethnic representation
in a Council of National Consultation.
In the immediate Chinese backlash
from Malay commerce the Chinese withheld their cash
boycotting Malay driven cabs
for the satay and durian sellers, business was bad.
In Muhibbah parties, durians were the main feature
to smoothen thorny relations and heal the racial fracture.
A state of Emergency had been declared
freedom of movement became bad.
We were kept indoors by a night time curfew
arrested for being outdoors at night were more than a few
including those caught sleeping in stationary cars.
With slow cars and narrow roads, we could not travel very far.
And when the time was right
to end our darkest night
he restored our parliamentary rights.
To make us think and talk with tact
he enforced the Sedition Act.
The Universities and University Colleges Act of emasculation
cutting off student demonstration in higher education.
The New Economic Policy to bring about market parity
(there is great sensitivity over the NEP longevity).
The NEP aims to correct economic imbalance associated with race
so that future racial disturbances we do not have to face.
The Rukun Negara to mould good citizenship
to steer us through troubled waters he needed a very tight ship.
He displayed foreign policy pragmatism
by shaking hands with Mao, the Chairman of Chinese Communism.
This is a little known fact
which he handled with good humour and tact.
He advised a group of privileged kaum ibu to take care of their own family
and not to interfere in royal matrimony.
Photocopies of Mahathir's private letter calling for the Tunku to step down
was widely circulated in town.
The Tunku was infuriated.
Mahathir's UMNO carrier Ayah terminated.
When Razak became premier, Mahathir’s political life Razak resuscitated.
When the time and date became known
of Abdul Razak’s last journey home
my wife to be and I made our way
to the EPF junction along the Federal Highway.
There were Chinese, Indians, Malays and others too.
Nobody told us to
we came of our own volition
to await the return of our fellow Malaysian.
We were strangers to one another
but as a nation we waited together.
A late afternoon sumatra had blew in the rain clouds.
Though the weather was in doubt
it did not deter us the waiting crowd.
We bowed our heads to Tun Rahah Noah as the motorcade came by.
Tun Abdul Razak bin Dato’ Hussein was eight weeks short of fifty-five
when we bade him our final goodbye.
Printed in Balai Ikhtisas Malaysia Professiona Bulletin July 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Recollections of a Wedding
RECOLLECTIONS OF A WEDDING
( many , many mornings after )
Let me try to remember
the wedding on the first of September
an early afternoon rain
did not cause a traffic strain.
Like a Shoalin monk with a shaved pate
at the entrance Hun Soon wait
to welcome family, friends and working mates
Hun Soon in a crimson Chinese jacket
with enormous pockets for the ang pow packets
Li Li was kept busy
amidst the bustling crowd and conversation noisy
She was up on her feet
making sure the guest had proper seats.
Elegant Saroja in a satiny sari
with Indran came to make merry.
Thirty years and thirty pounds later
Indran has filled up looking much better
Ashok and wife in colour coordinated outfits
took pictures of old friends he did meet.
Khaw Boon Swee looks fit and muscularly trim ,
has he been pumping iron at a gym ?
Bincy Tan now based in Klang
has lost his native Trengganu twang.
Su Kian Tat and Pek Lian are proud of the sons they beget
A pharmacist and a doctor will make any parent glad.
Tennis keeps Su slim,
he tells me this with his characteristic grin.
I introduced my second son to Michael Samy our obstetrician
who Mike had delivered by caesarian section.
Looking suave in a suit came Bachan and his beautiful wife
like a couple of Bollywood actors on Rodeo Drive.
Lum Siew Kheong from Kajang did come by
in his black suit and black bow tie .
When this father of three entered the room
I mistook him for the groom !
Eugene Leong and his wife make up a fine young pair,
looking youthful with his head of thick black hair !
Rohaya with a head of gold
and her mischievous smile from her convent days of old.
Some guys had Adam Chow in quiet conversation
Chit chatting ? Or a quick consult on erectile dysfunction?
Chooi Weng Kwong does not seem to age
so does Choy Kai Meng , a shared heritage ?
Lim Boon Kang youthful and fair
would be a good model to sell any product for skin care.
Emily and Koon Seng came after church service
Looking serene with inner peace
For this meeting of old friends they will not miss.
Koon Seng is a quiet new man
with a strong religious stand.
For his everlasting life he has found his Saviour.
In this physical life he has no more fear.
Several life emergencies he has survived,
grateful to God for the reprieve .
With his churchman Sng Kim Hock
on other life miracles we did talk
Sng is proud of his 3 children’s musical talent
and he himself is taking violin lesson.
Steven Chow in his batik of multicoloured hue
sat at a back table and enjoyed the view
of Kong Chiew Meng making the rounds
meeting up with friends from out of town.
Nurul and Kow Chye all the way from Ipoh
shook hands with Seremban Ho Min Foh
Chan Kheng Kim smiled and grinned
as he met up with Foo Ong Pin.
The climatic strain of the eighteen twelve overture
marked Yin Mei and Randy entry into the hall.
They were met with the bursting light of digital capture
amid applause from one and all .
Li Li had 2 pre-dinner tasting of the food
to make sure the food was good.
Tasty dishes and fine wine put us all in a merry mood.
Daily swims gave Hun Soon a very long breath
to call out “ Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmm….” that left the younger
people out of their depth.
Hun Soon’s son Yin Sern joined the band
he strummed his guitar and sang .
Oh boy he could really sing
to celebrate his sole sister’s wedding.
Randi's relatives and friend sang many happy songs
made us clap our hands and sang along.
Yin Mei choking with emotion thanked her extended family
new in-laws , old school friends of whom there were many.
Randi ‘s smile stretched from Boston to here
as he gave his wife an attentive ear.
We bid the young couple all happiness as we said goodnight
and took home little red gift boxes of chocolate delight.
Hun Soon Li Li cha boh kia ka win
Ee lang knor lang boh eng boh eng
Ang kah boh hwa hee lu lang lai
Chak pui lim chu kwa ee ay kia sai
Ee ay kia sai ang moh lang
Hun Soon Li Li penang lang.
wah kong koh su hor lu tia
wah ey mia ya yia.
Should you be irritated
by this tale that I narrated
then in all sincerity
please accept my apology.
yahya sofi
20th September 2007
( many , many mornings after )
Let me try to remember
the wedding on the first of September
an early afternoon rain
did not cause a traffic strain.
Like a Shoalin monk with a shaved pate
at the entrance Hun Soon wait
to welcome family, friends and working mates
Hun Soon in a crimson Chinese jacket
with enormous pockets for the ang pow packets
Li Li was kept busy
amidst the bustling crowd and conversation noisy
She was up on her feet
making sure the guest had proper seats.
Elegant Saroja in a satiny sari
with Indran came to make merry.
Thirty years and thirty pounds later
Indran has filled up looking much better
Ashok and wife in colour coordinated outfits
took pictures of old friends he did meet.
Khaw Boon Swee looks fit and muscularly trim ,
has he been pumping iron at a gym ?
Bincy Tan now based in Klang
has lost his native Trengganu twang.
Su Kian Tat and Pek Lian are proud of the sons they beget
A pharmacist and a doctor will make any parent glad.
Tennis keeps Su slim,
he tells me this with his characteristic grin.
I introduced my second son to Michael Samy our obstetrician
who Mike had delivered by caesarian section.
Looking suave in a suit came Bachan and his beautiful wife
like a couple of Bollywood actors on Rodeo Drive.
Lum Siew Kheong from Kajang did come by
in his black suit and black bow tie .
When this father of three entered the room
I mistook him for the groom !
Eugene Leong and his wife make up a fine young pair,
looking youthful with his head of thick black hair !
Rohaya with a head of gold
and her mischievous smile from her convent days of old.
Some guys had Adam Chow in quiet conversation
Chit chatting ? Or a quick consult on erectile dysfunction?
Chooi Weng Kwong does not seem to age
so does Choy Kai Meng , a shared heritage ?
Lim Boon Kang youthful and fair
would be a good model to sell any product for skin care.
Emily and Koon Seng came after church service
Looking serene with inner peace
For this meeting of old friends they will not miss.
Koon Seng is a quiet new man
with a strong religious stand.
For his everlasting life he has found his Saviour.
In this physical life he has no more fear.
Several life emergencies he has survived,
grateful to God for the reprieve .
With his churchman Sng Kim Hock
on other life miracles we did talk
Sng is proud of his 3 children’s musical talent
and he himself is taking violin lesson.
Steven Chow in his batik of multicoloured hue
sat at a back table and enjoyed the view
of Kong Chiew Meng making the rounds
meeting up with friends from out of town.
Nurul and Kow Chye all the way from Ipoh
shook hands with Seremban Ho Min Foh
Chan Kheng Kim smiled and grinned
as he met up with Foo Ong Pin.
The climatic strain of the eighteen twelve overture
marked Yin Mei and Randy entry into the hall.
They were met with the bursting light of digital capture
amid applause from one and all .
Li Li had 2 pre-dinner tasting of the food
to make sure the food was good.
Tasty dishes and fine wine put us all in a merry mood.
Daily swims gave Hun Soon a very long breath
to call out “ Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmm….” that left the younger
people out of their depth.
Hun Soon’s son Yin Sern joined the band
he strummed his guitar and sang .
Oh boy he could really sing
to celebrate his sole sister’s wedding.
Randi's relatives and friend sang many happy songs
made us clap our hands and sang along.
Yin Mei choking with emotion thanked her extended family
new in-laws , old school friends of whom there were many.
Randi ‘s smile stretched from Boston to here
as he gave his wife an attentive ear.
We bid the young couple all happiness as we said goodnight
and took home little red gift boxes of chocolate delight.
Hun Soon Li Li cha boh kia ka win
Ee lang knor lang boh eng boh eng
Ang kah boh hwa hee lu lang lai
Chak pui lim chu kwa ee ay kia sai
Ee ay kia sai ang moh lang
Hun Soon Li Li penang lang.
wah kong koh su hor lu tia
wah ey mia ya yia.
Should you be irritated
by this tale that I narrated
then in all sincerity
please accept my apology.
yahya sofi
20th September 2007
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